Though it sounds incredibly pessimistic and negative at first, this idea was actually brilliant. Because, in reality, every day presents a series of issues that require solving. Some are relatively simple. Others can be deep and complex. Some of us, like me, are in professions where people come for help with specific challenges. Without problems, I’d have no clients!
Children are naturally born with this ability, but often lose it over time as they discover a negative connotation to the word “problem”, modeled in the world around them. Our role as parents and educators is to help children to remember the positive aspects of our obstacles. They help us to think about our thinking. They teach us grit. They allow us to feel good about our abilities.4 comments
Thank you Marydee! Words often carry hidden power because we often carry a skewed definition that stems from our family of origin. And we often have an emotional reaction to words that e may not be aware of. It’s been a long journey but I’m finally at a place where the word ‘problem’ is an invitation not a barrier…I appreciate your comments.
Deb, I agree that individual words can be loaded with emotional “baggage,” influencing our responses. Congratulations on reaching that place where a problem is an invitation and not a barrier. I like that description.Thank you!
What a great article. I also love how this connects to kiddos too. My 8 year old daughter struggles with anxiety and worries about problems often. I also recently had an a-ha moment when, instead of asking her to simply–stop worrying, I asked her to brainstorm ways to solve or help her problem. Thinking of problems as puzzles to solve and overcome or build from is such a healthy perspective. And brings us back to the idea of a calm brain centering a “worried” brain. Thank you Marydee as always!
Christina, kudos on changing your wording as you help your daughter learn to manage her anxiety. Great mom moment!