Last week, I was traveling for work and I rented a car. It was pretty sporty: Jet black and very different from the “mom van” I have been driving for the past 11 years.
As soon as I sat down in this car, I began to feel anxious. I had to think about every move, and it all felt very unfamiliar and scary. In fact, I had to literally stop what I was doing, breathe, and remind myself that I know how to drive a car.
So…why did this happen to me? Let’s talk about it.
Why Routine Tasks Can Sometimes Seem Difficult
The answer is that the learned skills the brain relies on do not always transfer easily from one context to another. It takes the pre-frontal cortex time to evaluate, find the routines, and apply them in a new setting.
In my case, I became anxious because the environment changed. My executive functions were having trouble organizing all the pieces that make the driving feel routine because the pieces looked different. This was not my van, this car did not need a key, the mirrors were wrong, I was sitting very low to the ground, etc.
In short, my executive functions had to catch up.
Even when a learned habit becomes routine, our executive functions can struggle with added variables: if stress is elevated, you’re in a new environment, a new person involved, etc. Think of all the times your routines have felt out of whack. Was there an external factor that may have contributed to that? Most of the time, this is the case!
Executive Functions to Improve for More Adaptability
Despite the 12 executive functions of the brain being fundamental to virtually everything you do – from brushing your teeth in the morning to managing a complex project at work – they are still pretty poorly understood by the general public. Most people have a general sense of what executive functions are, but have never been explicitly taught about the skills, let alone how they develop or how to strengthen them.
Here are 4 executive skills that are really important when it comes to having an adaptable brain in times when your routine is thrown off:
Working Memory
Working Memory is is the ability to hold and use information in your mind while completing a task, including drawing on past experiences to navigate current situations. When your routine is disrupted, working memory is what helps your brain search for familiar patterns and apply them to an unfamiliar context. Without it firing on all cylinders, even a well-practiced skill like driving can suddenly feel brand new.
Mental Flexibility
Mental Flexibility is the capacity to adjust your thinking and actions when plans change, challenges arise, or new information comes to light. It is perhaps the most critical skill when external factors throw off your routine, because it is what allows your brain to say “this is different, and that is okay” rather than shutting down.
Response Inhibition
Response Inhibition is the ability to pause before acting or speaking, giving yourself time to consider the consequences. When a routine is disrupted, the brain can go into a reactive mode, and response inhibition is the skill that creates space between the trigger and the reaction. That pause is what allows you to take a breath, assess the new situation, and respond thoughtfully (rather than impulsively).
Emotional Control:
Emotional Control is the ability to regulate and manage emotional responses in order to stay focused, complete tasks, and make thoughtful choices. When routines are disrupted by external factors, the emotional brain can respond before the thinking brain has a chance to catch up. Emotional control is what bridges that gap, helping you move through the discomfort of an unfamiliar situation without getting stuck in it. Like me reminding myself that I know how to drive.
The Solution: Knowing Your Brain
Understanding which executive functions are your strengths and which are your weaknesses is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Most people never get that clarity; they just know that certain situations feel harder than they should, or that they keep running into the same roadblocks no matter how hard they try.
We believe that change starts with awareness. When you understand how your unique brain is wired, you stop blaming yourself for the hard moments and start building systems that actually work for you. As Marydee Sklar says, “blame the brain, not the person.”
External Tools: Support for Your Brain When It Needs It Most
Once you have a clearer picture of your executive function profile, the next step is finding the right external tools to support it. Things like a good planner, a checklist or a timer. It could also be a strategy that helps you take some deep breaths to regain control, which is what I did before successfully zipping off in my sporty little car (ok fine, I didn’t zip. I drove like the responsible adult that I am).
These tools are always helpful, but they become especially valuable in the moments I mentioned earlier: when stress is high, when your routine gets thrown off, or when life hands you something unexpected. It’s kind of like a bridge that helps your brain get from where it is to where it needs to be, even on the hard days.
How the Seeing My Time Curriculum Helps
The Seeing My Time® curriculum was built with this methodology in mind: learn about your specific strengths and weaknesses, paired with a better understanding of how the brain works, and apply specific strategies created for you! We offer the Seeing My Time curriculum in a ton of different formats, including:
- Private Family Sessions or Adult Sessions, both online and live in Portland, Oregon
- Family and Adult group classes
- A professional course, Teaching Seeing My Time, that teaches you how to teach it to yourself or others
- Self taught and self-paced, with the Seeing My Time Instructors Manual and Workbook.
You don’t have to figure this out alone! We would love to work with you. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions about any of our courses. We are here to help.
