The holidays: family, food, joy, friends…and anxiety?
I walked into the grocery store a few weeks ago and saw Halloween decorations on clearance while Christmas decorations were going up. Halloween isn’t even over yet! I thought, “Why are they making me think about Christmas? I just want to enjoy the fall!” I felt my body tense. I was frustrated.
That frustration led to anger, and then…anxiety.
In our house, anxiety is known as “the dragon”.
The Dragon Metaphor: Why Naming Our Fears Helps
The image of the dragon comes from Jack Kent’s 1975 classic picture book, There Is No Such Thing as a Dragon. The story is about a boy named Billy who wakes up to find a small, cute dragon in his room. He doesn’t know where it came from, so he runs downstairs to tell his mother, who replies, “There’s no such thing as a dragon!”. But the more Billy and his mother ignore the dragon, the bigger it grows – until it takes up the whole house.
Finally, Billy’s mother acknowledges the dragon exists, and right away, it begins to shrink.
Awareness = The Ability to Take Action
My son and I use the dragon as a way to talk about his fears. The story reminds him that he can put the dragon in its place simply by acknowledging it exists and then taking some kind of action.
After all, anxiety (like the dragon) has a purpose. It warns us, motivates us, and sometimes lights a fire under us.
To be clear, I’m not talking about severe clinical anxiety, but the kind of stress that shows up in tough times. That low-level hum that can creep in without warning. Sometimes it’s our own inner turmoil, and other times, we sense it in those around us.
In recent weeks, more than one family has shown strong emotions or tears during Seeing My Time Private Sessions. When I ask what’s going on, the answer is often vague: “It’s just been a hard day,” or “I don’t know why I feel like this.”
The pressure of managing our daily lives, combined with everything going on in the world, has created a dragon in many of our homes.
Whether you’re dealing with everyday stress or larger worries about the future, chances are, there’s a dragon in the room. And it wants your attention. When anxiety goes unacknowledged, it grows. It takes over your executive functioning, and suddenly, you’re flooded with cortisol and emotions you can’t control.
How to Shrink the Dragon: Practical Ways to Regain Calm
Here’s your cheat sheet:
1. Acknowledge that anxiety is real. Say hello to it.
2. Take one small action to bring your executive functions back online and put your wise brain in charge.
One action? Julie, are you kidding me? How will that be enough?
It will. The smallest step forward will reassure your dragon that you see it, and that you are in charge.
Here are some simple actions to choose from:
- Write down your thoughts. Use paper, a whiteboard, or your computer. Get them out of your brain.
- Make a list of tasks and keep them in one place until you’re ready.
- Celebrate someone in your life. Tell them why you appreciate them.
- Choose one task to complete, then celebrate, even if it’s small. Thank yourself out loud. You deserve it.
- Laugh!
- Set a timer for 10 minutes and make progress on one thing.
- Use an executive functioning tool like a planner, a timer, or an organizational system.
- Move your body.
- Read There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon and talk about it with your kids.
- Hug someone you love.
- For some additional tips for kids, check out Marydee’s blog, 7 Ways to Reduce Anxiety in Kids.
Feel the hugs from all of us at Executive Functioning Success.
Happy Thanksgiving!
